Difficult things are usually in the realm of relationships, right?
To give in, to remain silent, to apologize…, to rejoice in someone else’s success,… and a bunch of other difficulties are faced by everyone who wants to be a “positive” person (at least in their own eyes). This is just the outside – you will say – just behavior. I agree. But it is difficult, especially for more direct people… What, however, is the most difficult in human relationships? Which one do we either handle with a lot of effort or… we don’t handle?
Let’s make excuses!
What is difficult for us to deal with:
With our character? With our temperament? Bad habits? (Let’s not start with all these excuses – haste, impulsiveness, rudeness, egocentrism, resentment, intolerance, etc., etc.) We have heard about the “problem with anger”. And the things like that… There are psychoanalysts, self-training books, CD-s that motivate, videos that calm, teach you to breathe and exhale… until the next “explosion”.
This is hardly such a big stumbling block. From the family, through the school order, the army, the company subordination, the traffic on the roads…. even to marriage! Oh, yes! – and religion, of course. We used to smile and “press a believer to the wall”: “Oh, you have found the Fuhrer! Your God only forbids you the best things… Don’t do this, don`t do that, you are forbidden to do that…” It is difficult. But we manage, yes, the religious ones – too! Do people choose their own reasons for being obedient to other people, rules, laws, or does life require it?
Something about betrayal
… And about friendship. The two walked the same street, but from different sides… The bad happened when they met… We heard famous and important people say that they hate betrayal the most, and especially value friendship.
On this planet you will not meet a person who claims that he/she has never been betrayed by a relative, brother or sister, friend, colleague, spouse.
My question, I invite you to reflect on, is: What happens when we are betrayed, lied to, humiliated (humiliation is also betrayal, isn’t it?)?
Those jagged thoughts and feelings come: “Take revenge! Put it in place! Tell them what you think about their ugly meanness and about them! ”You are disgusted, you do not find peace, your soul hurts, your soul… And… then you continue, you live with this pain and with the emptiness that nothing can fill.
Is there another way?
Oh, there must be different paths to get out of the hidden hell raging inside us… However, they hang on theoretical ropes that break because hurt pride or insult can be “swallowed”,BUT betrayal… ??! The theory doesn’t work… Healing is needed, to fill the terrible void, to stop the pain!!! Then comes that super opportunity – to do the MOST DIFFICULT:
“This is not the most difficult, this is the most impossible,” was my opinion. Until I met a person who convinced me that forgiveness is not a hero of film dramas or the main theme of emotional sermons, but a real life-changing force giving freedom and peace to the soul …… I do not know when my conviction will bear fruit and I will be free from the corrosive memory of betrayal, which deprived me of years of peace and tranquility… I know, however, that it is possible to be free !!!
A real story needed here
Twins were born and one tried to deceive the firstborn when they appeared in the world – he caught his brother’s heel… A new attempt followed many years later, directed by the mother, whose favorite one was the younger…. Ugly deception, although the big brother in his hunger sold his birthright to the younger one for a bowl of lentils… Disguised, the cunning man received from his half-blind father everything that was due to the firstborn. The father tried to make things right and gave a blessing to the betrayed, but… the anger was terrible… And, of course, the neglected brother vowed to take revenge by killing the deceiver.
“So Esau hated Jacob because of the blessing with which his father blessed him, and Esau said in his heart, “The days of mourning for my father are at hand; then I will kill my brother Jacob.” (Genesis 27:41)
It is worth reading the whole story from the Bible in Genesis chapter 25 to chapter 33, it is really interesting. As well as the fate of the two and the fate of their descendants. (HERE is the whole story)
… And unforgivable things
There is a verse from a song by Tonica SV: “Come back, come back and forgive your unforgivable things…!” But – The Big brother couldn’t…, he tried to forgive, but he didn’t succeed… And after more than for 500 years, his descendants continued to hate… When Jacob’s family traveled through the wilderness, they did not allow them to pass through their lands, nor did they help them in their trials. And this is how God reacts: “
“For four crimes I will punish Esau – because he pursues his brother with a sword and suffocates his mercy, his anger is torn forever and he keeps his rage.”
So many generations marked by the sign of malice and hatred !!? It is a living torture, like those bloody feuds that robbed the lives of many nations, families and clans…
I understand the problem of the Big brother to some extent, because mine is similar… But I got tired of carrying this burden and being deprived of peace of mind.
Betrayed for… good?
I read the Eternal Book, the Bible, and sought a cure, a searched for it.
I was very impressed by the life of another young man – Joseph, the youngest son of the same Jacob, whom his ten brothers sold as a slave in Egypt, because he was good, sincere and because his father bought for him a colorful dress… !? The young man went through terrible suffering. Not for a second, however, did he betray his God, he remained honest, pure and humble. Even the Pharaoh appreciated his qualities and entrusted him with the management of the country’s economy. But when his brothers understand on whom the survival of their families depends, Joseph… see how he acts and what he tells them:
“But now, do not therefore be grieved or angry with yourselves because you sold me here; for God sent me before you to preserve life… And he kissed all his brothers and wept over them, and then his brothers talked with him.” Genesis 45:5, 15
(And if that is not to forgive the unforgivable, what could be then…) Please read this amazing story, not only because it is interesting and captivating with the adventures of the character, but also because it will make you think about the important things in life…(You will find it in Genesis chapter 37 and then from chapter 39 to chapter 45).
Not what, but WHO?
I have already mentioned a Person who completely changed my belief that no one can ever cope with the pain of betrayal and truly forgive… This story is the most amazing of all stories of betrayal and forgiveness and is vital to me and to all. And it is not a legend, and it is not a myth, but it is completely real and true, since the One who tells about has changed and changes the lives of millions of people, healing them from the most terrible diseases – hatred, revenge, malice, and more, and more… I met Jesus, reading the testimonies of the tax collector Matthew, the physician Luke, the fisherman John, and the missionary Mark.
Knowing the distrust of the people, John writes, “And he who has seen has testified, and his testimony is true; and he knows that he is telling the truth, so that you may believe. ” (John 19 Chapter, 35 verse)
Nothing against psychoanalysts…
In many places in the Gospels we read Jesus’ counsel to forgive all those who “sin against us.” Yes, and psychoanalysts give a lot of advice… But here’s the difference: Not they, but Jesus “ Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows.” But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.… – and the Lord hath laid on him the iniquity of us all... He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth: he is brought as a lamb to the slaughter”. The Book of Isaiah 53: 4-7 verses
He did not open His mouth to justify Himself, to accuse His executioners, whom He had healed yesterday, to resent the unfortunates in the crowd who had cried out “Hosanna!” The day before, and now shouted “Crucify Him!” thick nails His hands and feet… And do you know what He said? (Because of His words, my life turned!)
Jesus said, “FATHER, FORGIVE THEM, FOR THEY DO NOT KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING.” Luke 23:34
And can I do it?
If God incarnate in human flesh assures me that “all things are possible to him that believeth in Him,” then He has found a way to give me strength and forgiveness. His equality with God, and robbed Himself… and became like men and, finding himself in human form, humbled Himself and became obedient to death, even death on the cross ”(Phil. 2: 6,7,8), if He has forgiven everyone, even me, if He tells me that I can forgive and forgive at all, then I can! And you can, and everyone can. Because it is not us, but He who has done the hardest thing for us, dying on the cross.