That little void in my soul trying to quell the insatiable longing for Home …
A few months ago, one of my paintings became the property of a lady with a beautiful sensitive soul. The painting was called “At Home.” While painting it, I put a lot of feelings, thoughts and memories into it. In fact, I put a lot of my soul into it, and I’m very happy that someone with a sensitivity like mine now has it. (In the photo below, you can see it)
Why am I writing all this? After parting with this painting of mine, I realized that the charge and meaning it carries is very great. Ever since it came into a new home, I’ve been thinking about what “At Home” really means.
Let’s think together
What is your “At Home”?
⦁ Is this one concept or are there two – the home you grew up in and the one you have now (if you are already an independent person, self-sufficient and you don`t rely financially on your parents)?
⦁ Is this just the place where you live – a beautiful house or a cozy apartment filled with your favorite furniture, valuables and a pet, if you have one?
⦁ Or do you not care about the material and the place where you return after work or after school, but do the people around you between these 4 walls and the roof over your head matter most – your family?
⦁ Or maybe you took a break from a spouse who has hurt you for years? Your children got married and have their new families and new homes? And you want, when you come home tired from work, to immerse yourself in the peace and quiet of a done from you a heavenly place where you can rest for a while and not think about past mistakes and unhealed wounds …?
I think of people without homes and those without families. What about a person who lost his partner and children in a car accident, for example, coming back every day to an empty lonely house full of memories? And what about those who were born and raised on the street? And those from broken families? Children abused by their parents? Let’s not forget the young people who ran away from home in order to save themselves and look for a better future and life …. What would they say about “At Home”? Certainly some of them associate home with the most horrible place in the world and are trying to forget it.
More optimistic thoughts
But let us be optimistic and accept that you and I are among those blessed lucky ones who can boast of loving, caring and understanding parents who have provided them with a wonderful childhood, love and attention, studying and financial support. And for us, “At Home” brings only positive, kind and beautiful nostalgic memories.
What do we take from the past?
What we received in our childhood, if it was positive and constructive, we try to apply it in our new home when we leave our parents, right? And vice versa: the negative moments, we try never to bring into our new place in our new family.
What is HOME?
Representatives of different age groups would give different answers, right? But can we simply summarize in a few words that home, that is: family, place (house or apartment), present, love, comfort, security, tranquility, something positive and necessary, part of us, without which we can not…. completely be happy, probably…
I don’t know how it is with you, but for me the home is both constant and variable. In this concept I collect my fond memories of my sunny childhood, the delicious smells of cakes and favorite dishes that my mother made (and continues to make), Christmas with my family, games with my brother (our children’s room we sometimes turned it into a spaceship or a entire fairy city). There were also the evening games together with mum and dad, the movie weekends with pizza and sweets, our family services and serious conversations …. And the home now that I created with my husband developing our characters and building our present and future together with a lot of love and care to each other.
Material or spiritual concept?
For me, the home is not a definite material place full of furniture, sections, objects, flower pots, paintings and … of course – people. For me, home is more of a peaceful oasis in this reality, where I find love, understanding, forgiveness, long-suffering, laughter, peace, tranquility, where I feel accepted, behave casually, where I’m not afraid when I make mistakes, because I know I`ll be forgiven and will be given another chance …
Here is my story
For me, home has not been a physical PLACE for a long time, at least not here on this earth. And now I will tell you why. After separating from my parents and deciding to be independent (studied and worked away from home and my hometown) I have changed 15 lodgings in the last 15 years. Yes, you read it correctly – 15 !!! Some great and cozy, and some terrible – full of bugs, mold and noisy neighbors (on the showings you can not see the hidden bugs and spiders, as well as cleverly hidden by the owners flaws. Everything starts to come out one by one AFTER YOU MOVE IN and already you have signed a contract for at least 1 year) …
During these years I got married and my husband inadvertently joined my Odyssey of changing lodgings EVERY YEAR !! Shocking, isn’t it ?! It is normal to wonder why I have moved so often … Of course, I had good reasons: studying, changing jobs, bad intolerant landlords, pets, and, as I mentioned above, accommodation that was harmful to health; continuous reparings and entering personal space etc. etc.
Where’s my “At Home”?
Now I live in an apartment … and pay rent for it AGAIN. My parents also live far from our Dear Home, often talking with nostalgia and sadness about THERE. I’m sure it’s hard for them to define their “At Home” too … I hope I’m wrong!
I am loved and I love. I go to temporary places and return from time to time to meet the eternal love of family and friends. My husband is next to me and I am next to him … in this apartment and in the next … accepting each other with the good and bad traits of our characters, supporting and loving each other.
Not of this world
I do not have “Home” HERE on this EARTH. The places I live in are not my home. Yes, yes, the clichéd expressions: “I`m on my way home”, “The house needs to be cleaned”, “When I come home….”, etc … I use them all the time. But everything is foreign to me and I try not to think about it. I admit that I used to be homesick and self-pitying sometimes when I thought of my girlfriends who got married and went to their husbands in beautiful homes or bought houses and apartments and live happily there …. without moving every year like us …
I already have peace, I have peace in my heart. Because I HAVE A HOME, I HAVE my “At Home”, but it is not of this world. My home is not built of bricks and concrete that could easily collapse from a major earthquake or tornado. My home is made of material that is not subject to earthly laws and nature. No human hands built it, no compromises or mistakes were made in its construction.
It was prepared for me
My New Home was built by My God. I can tell you a lot about this, but I will only briefly mention that God has prepared a Heavenly Home for us. For me and YOU. Oh, no, I do not mean what many people believe in: “paradise”, in which the good people will go after death, and the bad ones will go to “hell”. The Bible does not support this Catholic belief, but describes death as a dream, people fall asleep when they die.
How do I know I have a Heavenly Home? And not only me … you have too…. Well, Jesus himself promised that as soon as He prepares it, He would come to take with Him all those who love and follow Him:
“In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.
And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also. ”(John 14:2,3)
He will come back not only for me, but for you as well… if you believe!
Paul writes of Abraham: “For he looked for a city which hath foundations, whose builder and maker is God.” (Hebrews 11:10)
There will be no tears! And those who are homeless here on this earth full of agony, wars and pain, will have beautiful homes there, created by our loving God:
“And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.” (Revelation 21: 4)
… That little void and sadness in your heart …
There is a small gap in each of us.
God left it to be filled when Jesus Christ comes to take His children who believe and follow Him. This small gap makes us sad, feel misunderstood, lonely (even though we have a family and people who love us), feel insufficient and make us feel as if not everything is as it should be … BECAUSE – our true “At Home” is waiting for us. God is waiting for us, the ARCHITECT HIMSELF. He waits for us to come to Him right now, as we are, and to ask Him to accept us … Because He was the first to ask us to accept His Son, Who gave His precious life for us:
“But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5: 8)
“He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things?” (Romans 8:32)